Zoey's New Pet
by Irk The Waffle
Summary: Zoey's moved into her own apartment, somewhere she can have whatever she likes... including a strange animal that follows her home one day. But as much as this new animal loves Zoey, she doesn't seem too fond of that OTHER being Zoey pets on a regular basis.


**Happy Zoke Week! Sorry this is my first entry, and probably my only one. Part of that is because I've been horribly sick since the day after Christmas and I'm just getting over it... but even if not for that, I haven't had a lot of ideas for this week's prompts. But this is an idea I've had since before the prompts, and it fits "Getting A Pet" very nicely, so here we are!**

**If you follow me on Tumblr, then you know exactly who this is about. If you don't, then meet a minor character that Starryoak and I have been working with since August!**

* * *

><p>Zoey took a seat on a bench in the mall, clutching a small bag containing a CD and a book.<p>

Buying that little from the used media shop in any given mall wasn't typical for her, but after all she spent on furnishing her new apartment, she didn't have much money leftover.

A lot of major purchases were taken care of, thankfully; her bedroom set from her room with her parents was still usable, so she moved all that furniture over to the apartment with no problem, and the place already came with a fridge, stove, and couch. It wasn't anything high end, but for a recent high school graduate getting by on waitress and tutoring jobs, it all filled its purpose well enough. Other major purchases, like a television set and DVD player, weren't necessary and could wait a few more paychecks, as tempting as they were.

But a lot of smaller purchases were still necessary, and they all added up very quickly. Dishes, towels, lights, not to mention all she had to spend on things like food and cleaning supplies at the grocery store before heading to the mall...

The CD and book she picked up seemed so insignificant compared to her usual hauls, but after spending all day shopping for things that weren't fun at all, she felt she deserved a little treat. Decorating a house sounded so fun when she was younger, but it really lost some of its appeal when she only had enough money to buy the plain versions of most things.

Her apartment would look pretty someday, she promised herself. But for now, she couldn't justify spending her entire budget on a single floor lamp, no matter how beautiful it was.

Everything she bought except for her entertainment items had already been loaded into her car so she wouldn't have to lug them around while shopping for CD's. All she had to do now was go home and unload. It wasn't a task she looked forward to, but thankfully, Mike had agreed to help her get set up. She'd purposely chosen an apartment near his house so she could see him more often, so he wouldn't have to go very far out of his way to come help, even if he did consider anything involving Zoey to be remotely burdensome. Having his assistance and conversation would surely make dragging bag after bag of low quality pans and plates up the stairs a lot less dull. Previous obligations prevented him from helping out when the movers helped Zoey transfer everything from her parents', as much as he wanted to, so this would be the first time he saw the place. Zoey couldn't wait to show it off; as simple as it was, it was hers, and she was pretty proud of herself for coming this far.

But Mike wouldn't be available for another hour, and Zoey wasn't looking forward to sitting around her sparse apartment and waiting for him to come help her spruce it up a little. So until he called, she'd sit here and read her new book, or maybe watch people walking by. After all that shopping, she needed the downtime.

That was her plan, until she heard a familiar voice booming through the shopping mall.

"Step up, kids! Come see the grand unveiling of the Total Drama Petting Zoo!"

Logically, she should have gotten up and left the very instant she heard that voice. For the most part, her connection with Total Drama was over. She still showed up for things like convention panels and reunion events; she'd likely be contractually obligated to do that until the day she died, but for the sake of her fans and her cast mates, she'd happily keep it up for as long as she could. But she'd outgrown the game portion of the franchise as older cast members were replaced with younger ones, so she didn't appear on TV much anymore. Soon, the fanbase would be young enough that they wouldn't remember her or her cast mates' seasons. She could easily drop out of the franchise entirely, live a normal life with no paparazzi, and not many people would notice she was gone.

She had no reason, not even contractual, to go anywhere but the opposite direction at the sound of Chris McLean's voice.

But curiosity got the better of her, so she got up and followed the sound of the announcement to see what this whole thing was about.

A loud gasp escaped her lips as she turned the corner. Chris stood on a stage in the middle of the floor, shouting into his microphone about his petting zoo. That wasn't the surprise; Chris drawing attention to himself was fairly typical.

What Zoey didn't expect to see was a pen containing a trough of hay, a trough of water, and most interestingly, four winged mountain goats.

"Chris?!" she exclaimed.

"Oh! Hey, Zoey!" Chris said after lowering his megaphone.

"What is this?!" Zoey asked.

"Fire breathing mountain goats!" Chris answered. "I thought you of all people would remember these guys. We found a few of 'em hanging around Boney Island, so I thought I may as well tour them around Canada! They're just going to waste out there. Chef's at the other end of the mall with some teleporting frogs, but he's having some... obvious problems with those. You haven't seen any around, have you?"

Zoey took a peek into the pen; none of the four goats seemed particularly motivated. The pen wasn't covered, allowing any of them to fly out if they wanted to, but they all seemed content to lounge around under the mall's hot lights.

"Don't you think they'd be happier in the wild?" Zoey asked. "They look so miserable..."

"They're goats. I don't think they care."

"Look, that one has an egg!" Zoey said, pointing at a goat which had curled itself around a large blue egg.

"Yeah, how about that," Chris said with a laugh. "Guess someone in the mall is gonna get to witness the miracle of birth sooner or later."

"You can't just let it hatch here in the middle of a mall, can you? It seems like it'd be too stressful..."

"Who are you, Dawn?" Chris took his attention away from Zoey as a small boy approached the pen. "Hey, kid! Wanna pet one? For five bucks, you can go in the pen!"

The boy reached his hand into the pen to pat one of the sleeping goats, but before he could make contact, the goat abruptly lifted its head and snorted a small flame. The flame made no contact with the boy's hand, but he still screamed and ran out of sight.

"Yeah, they do that!" Chris called after him, laughter in his voice. The goat that had reacted instantly lowered its head and went back to sleep.

Zoey approached the pen and frowned. The goats she'd flown on before were highly energetic; watching them laze around seemed so wrong and out of place.

There was no way her apartment would have room for a full grown goat, and Chris probably wouldn't let her take one anyway. But it was almost tempting... even her small apartment would provide a better existence than this...

"Heads up!" An older boy, likely a teenager, approached the pen with a piece of garbage wadded in his hands. Before anyone could react enough to stop him, he deliberately chucked it into the pen. The goat curled around her egg shot up even quicker than the one that was almost pet as a fast food wrapper bounced off her head. She turned toward the boy who threw it, and with an angry bleat, jumped to her feet and ran to the fence, leaving her egg behind.

"Hey, try not to get bit!" Chris told the kid. "I'm not in the mood to get sued over this!"

The kid made no move to touch the angered mother goat, but he also didn't back down. "Why don't you fly, you stupid goat? You could get me so easy, so why don't you? Zoo animals are always so lazy!"

"Please stop!" Zoey called, unsure whether she was more concerned about the boy's safety or the goat's dignity. The boy was in the wrong, obviously, but she wasn't in the mood to watch someone get incinerated right before her eyes.

"Who cares about these stupid things, anyway?" The boy asked. "Hey, Chris, no one's gonna pay to nearly get their hand chomped off by these things!"

"No, but they might pay to see a stupid kid get mauled, so keep it up!" Chris said, clearly entertained by this whole thing. "A good show might make dealing with the lawyers later worth it!"

"Everyone, please calm down!" Zoey pleaded, but her request fell on deaf ears. "Just calm- huh?" Zoey's attention was drawn away from the incident by the egg in the middle of the pen, which had begun shaking.

"Mother goat?" Zoey asked. "Mother goat, your egg-"

The mother goat took no notice of the shaking egg. Instead, she had more focus on the boy, who had taken to quickly jabbing her in the head with his fingers and withdrawing his hand before she could bite him. Chris had his own attention focused on the mayhem, so the egg meant nothing to him, either.

A small, white snout pushed out of the top of the egg and sniffed the new world it just entered. With a few wobbles, the egg fell on its side and spilled out its occupant, a newborn goat with black bat wings much too large for its body. After stretching its body and wings, the baby opened its eyes and stared straight ahead.

The first living thing it noticed was Zoey. At the sight of the human woman gazing at her in shock, the baby goat did something that none of its adult counterparts had tried ever since they all arrived here.

It flew.

Its motions were wobbly and unpracticed, but with a few flaps, it rose into the air and made a beeline for Zoey. Before Zoey could fully react, the baby goat settled on her shoulder and begun nuzzling the side of her head.

"Oh!" Zoey exclaimed. "Hey there, little... um..." She lightly lifted the goat off her shoulder and held it in front of her while inspecting its underside. "Girl?"

The goat bleated happily, then lunged for Zoey's chest. She couldn't help but laugh as the small, warm creature cuddled up to her.

"Aw, you're so cute!" she cooed as she scratched the baby behind her ears. "So soft, too! But you need to go back to your mommy, okay?" Zoey turned the goat around so she could see her mother. "There, see? She's going to take care of you!"

The mother goat had taken to throwing herself at the bars of the pen in an effort to get to the boy who still had nothing better to do than taunt her.

Zoey leaned down and gently placed the baby goat back in the pen. "There you go! Go to your mommy!"

The instant the baby's hooves hit the floor, she instantly flew back up and reclaimed her place on Zoey's shoulder.

"No! Not me!" Zoey insisted. "You need to stay here!"

Chris finally took notice of the new life that had arrived in the middle of the mall. "Hey, that's Total Drama property, Zoey! Put it back!" he snapped, a frown on his face.

"I'm trying!" she said. "I think she thinks I'm her mother!"

"Well, you're not!" Chris said as he stomped toward her. "Come here, you little mutant..." Chris roughly grabbed the baby goat and pulled her off Zoey's shoulder. "You're part of the show. Get back in the pen."

For his trouble, Chris received as hefty a chomp as such a small creature could deliver right on his arm.

As Chris screamed and struggled to remove the goat from his arm, Zoey's cell phone went off. Grateful for the excuse to get away from all this nonsense, Zoey walked away from the pen, and once she'd arrived somewhere quiet, she answered the phone.

"Zoey?" Mike asked from the other end.

"Mike! Hey!" she greeted. "Sorry that took so long! This mall's pretty loud. I had to find a quiet hallway."

"Yeah, that place is usually mobbed on weekends," Mike said with a laugh. "I should have warned you!"

"Yes, you should have," Zoey answered. In a face-to-face conversation, this likely would have been accompanied by a playful stick-out of the tongue.

"Anyway, I just wanna let you know that I can be at the apartment in the next fifteen minutes. Should I go there now, or are you still shopping?"

"No, I'm done what I need to," Zoey said. "I was just relaxing before you called. You're probably going to get there before I am, though. Do you mind waiting outside?"

"That's cool with me," Mike said. "What'll we be doing when you get here?"

"Unloading groceries, mostly," Zoey said. "There's not anything heavy. We did all that yesterday. There's a lot of stuff, but nothing bulky."

"Anything to help!" Mike said. "It'll be great to see the new place, too!"

"I'm leaving the mall now," Zoey said as she headed for the nearest exit. "I'll see you really soon! I love you!"

"Love you too, Zoey!"

Zoey put her phone back in her purse and walked out the door of the mall, the incident with the goats out of her mind in favor of getting to see her boyfriend and set up her new home.

She didn't look back for a second, not even to investigate the weird clicking noise that seemed to come from right behind her feet.

It was probably nothing.

* * *

><p>Just as Zoey expected, Mike arrived at the apartment building before she did. He sat on the steps leading up to the building, playing with his phone, although he did look up and smile as Zoey pulled into her parking space near the entrance.<p>

"Hey, Mike!" Zoey jumped out of the car and practically leaped onto her boyfriend to pull his still sitting frame into a hug. Even if she just saw him last week, it had still been seven days too long.

"I missed you," Mike said as he returned the embrace. "I'm so sorry I couldn't help out yesterday!"

"I understand you were busy," Zoey said. "At least you're here now!"

"Where is everything?" Mike asked.

"It's in the trunk," Zoey said. "Don't worry about the back seat, there's nothing there. I already unlocked the trunk. Could you get a few bags while I go ahead and unlock the doors? I'm on the second floor, apartment 23. Just go through the door with the big 2 on it! You can't miss it!"

"Got it!"

Zoey gave Mike a brief kiss on the cheek, then headed up the stairs while Mike went for the car. She hummed a happy tune as she made her way through the apartment building, pushing down the door stoppers on the front door and the hallway door to make it easier for them to get bags into the building. Just as she turned her key in the door for her own apartment, she heard Mike yelling from the parking lot.

"Zoey?! There's something in your back seat!"

"What?!" Zoey pushed her door open, and without sticking around to make sure it stayed open, she ran back down the stairs to investigate the commotion. "What do you mean, there's something back there?"

"Something moved!" Mike said. "It looked like it had fur. I think it was a dog or something!"

"A dog?" Zoey asked. "How would a dog get into my car?"

"Maybe it jumped in when you left the mall?" Mike asked.

"I did have one more bag to put in the trunk when I left, and there is that gap between the trunk and back seat..." Zoey said. "I had to rearrange stuff to put that last bag in. Maybe it climbed in then and I didn't notice?" She walked over to the back door of her car. "Poor thing must be freaked out by the surprise ride. We should take it to a shelter when we're done here..." She opened the door, expecting to see a shocked dog or cat cowering against the back of the seat.

A tiny winged goat flew out and landed on her shoulder.

"You!" Zoey exclaimed as it nuzzled her face. "You followed me?!"

"What is that?!" Mike asked. "I mean, I know what it _is,_ but where did it come from? I haven't seen one of those since the Fun Zone!"

"Chris had some sort of petting zoo going on in the middle of the mall," Zoey explained. "I watched this one hatch. I think she thinks I'm her mother..."

"She does really seem to like you," Mike said with a smile. "She's kind of cute!" Mike reached out to pet the goat, but she hissed at him in a manner more fitting of a cat than a goat, causing him to withdraw his hand.

"It's okay, girl!" Zoey assured her. She lifted the goat and held her in front of Mike. "If I'm your mommy, then he's your daddy. He won't hurt you, see?"

Mike tried patting her again, but the steady stream of smoke emerging from the agitated goat's nostrils caused him to reconsider.

"I don't think she likes me..." Mike said.

"Maybe she just needs time to get used to you," Zoey said.

"What are you going to do with her?" Mike asked as the goat returned to Zoey's shoulder.

"I'm not bringing her back to Chris," Zoey said. "The other goats he had with him looked _miserable. _I don't trust him."

"Good. She deserves better than Chris," Mike said. "Anything would."

"But I don't know if a shelter would take her... I don't know what I'm going to do with her yet." She picked the goat up again and placed her back in the car. "Let's get the groceries taken care of. Then I'll figure this out." The second Zoey turned away from the car, she had a goat on her shoulder again.

The goat sat on her shoulder for the entire time that she and Mike unloaded the car. Zoey had no idea how she held on, but decided not to think about it too hard. At least she wasn't heavy.

* * *

><p>Mike and Zoey sat on the couch of Zoey's newly-loaded apartment, more drained than they thought they'd be after all this. Zoey was right that nothing was heavy, but there was a <em>lot<em> of stuff to take care of, and running up and down all those stairs got tiresome quickly. But in the end, it was worth it to make the place look a little less empty. It still needed some work, but things had come a long way in one day.

"I like it here," Mike said. "It's cozy! And the decorations really suit you."

"Yeah, I like how it turned out, too," Zoey agreed. "It's a little small, but it's not like I need that much room. I'd like a full sized house someday, but this'll do for now."

"Yeah, it's just you here, and me when I visit. So the size is fine."

"Maybe not just us..." Zoey admitted as she looked over at the arm of the couch. After they'd finished unloading the car, Zoey managed to lure the goat off her shoulder by putting down a bowl of salad for her. After she downed her first meal and a bowl full of water, she settled down on the arm of the couch for a nap while Zoey and Mike decorated.

"Are you thinking of keeping her?" Mike asked.

"Maybe," Zoey said. "She's cute! And where else is she going to go? She had no interest in the other goats, and what is she going to do at a shelter? Even if they took her, do you think anyone would adopt a winged goat?"

"Is the landlord going to let you keep her?" Mike said.

"They let tenants keep dogs and cats for a deposit," Zoey said. "She's not going to get any bigger than a large dog, so it's the same thing, right?" Zoey scratched the goat behind her ear, causing her to kick in her sleep. "I don't know, I've gotten attached to her. I don't want to let her go if I don't have to. Besides..." Zoey paused briefly, then sighed. "After Miss Puffycheeks died a few months ago, I've been pretty lonely. Cotton's more my parents' cat, not mine. He's _never _liked me. And now that I'm living on my own... I know you'll come over a lot, but you can't be here all the time. And that's fine! But I miss having a pet. I think it'll be nice having someone else living here."

"If you're sure she won't burn the house down," Mike said with a laugh.

"I was able to handle the adult ones on Wakanawka. I think I can raise a baby! I'll have to look up how to take care of goats, but I should be fine."

"Yeah, you're probably right. And she _is_ cute. I know you love having a pet to take care of, so I think she'll be good for you. What are you going to name her?"

"Hm..." Zoey didn't answer right away, and instead continued to stroke her new pet in silence. The goat made a tiny, high pitched sneeze, shooting a flicker of flame from her nostrils in the process.

"Aw, you're so tiny!" Zoey cooed. "You couldn't burn anything down like that, could you? All that fire could do is toast marshmallows!" After the words left her mouth, she gasped and her face brightened. "That's it! I'll call you Toast! You're like a little toasted marshmallow yourself!" Zoey laughed about her name idea and pet Toast faster, making her kick her back leg even more furiously.

"I'm almost jealous of that goat!" Mike said, a smile betraying exactly how seriously he meant this remark. "Lucky thing, being cute enough to get Zoey to fawn all over you..."

"Aw, don't worry, Mike," Zoey said. "She's only the second cutest one in this apartment right now."

"Yeah, that's true," Mike said. "I mean, you're here, aren't you?"

"I meant you, silly!" Zoey said. "Come here. If you're really jealous, I can scratch your ears, too!"

Before Mike had a chance to move, Zoey leaned over to him and lightly scratched behind his ear, causing him to hunch his shoulders and laugh. "That tickles!" he protested, but his protests did nothing to make Zoey stop. Her scratches only lasted a few seconds, though, before she pulled him down so his head rested on her shoulder. She wrapped her arm around his shoulders and squeezed him tight, then combed his hair with the hand on her other arm.

"Is this kind of petting better?" she asked him.

"Much better," Mike said calmly, his body now relaxed. "Rub my scalp, please?"

Zoey fulfilled Mike's request by gently pressing her fingertips into his scalp, drawing a happy sigh from his lips as she did so. "Thanks so much for all your help today," she said. "It means a lot."

"It was no trouble," Mike assured her. "I really liked getting to spend the day with you... and now that you live this close, we'll get to do this more often... I'm so happy that-"

Zoey didn't get to hear exactly what Mike was so happy about, for his speech was interrupted by a loud, pained howling as he jerked upright and out of her embrace. Before she could ask what happened, Zoey looked down to see Toast biting into Mike's sock-clad foot.

"No!" Zoey scolded. "Bad! Bad girl! No biting daddy!" Zoey pulled Toast off Mike's foot, taking his sock along with her. Toast kept her eyes fixed on Mike and growled.

"Her mouth is _hot_!" Mike cried. "That was like having my foot in a sharp oven!"

"Thank goodness we filled the ice cube trays when we unpacked them... I'll make you an ice pack. I'm so sorry this happened!" Zoey stood up and placed Toast back on the arm of the couch. "Stay," she commanded. "And no more biting!"

As Zoey walked away, Mike locked eyes with Toast, his brow furrowed in concern.

Mike's sock fell out of Toast's mouth as she hissed at him.

* * *

><p>Zoey arrived home to her boyfriend sitting in the parking lot's single tree while her pet stood below and bleated at him.<p>

Six months had passed, and for the most part, things had gone the way Zoey wanted. Independent living worked out very well for her; upkeep on her own home wasn't exactly entertaining, but she managed it well enough, and the sense of accomplishment and freedom was more than worth it in her eyes. She easily found a permanent waitress job that provided very nice tips, enough that she could put some of it away and hopefully be able to start college with it soon. Plus, now that she lived in Mike's city, they could see each other much more often, without as much worry about each others' schedules. He'd often stay at her place for days at a time without any advance warning, which Zoey didn't mind at all.

Mike didn't mind it either, for the most part, except for one little hitch; a little winged goat named Toast, who after six months, had become considerably less little.

Most of the time, Toast ignored Mike's presence. He'd try to pet her when they crossed paths or offer her a treat, but she'd walk on by as if he wasn't even there. It was a blow to his ego, but if that was all she did, he seemed like he would have been able to handle it.

What he seemed to struggle with handling was her extreme over-protectiveness for Zoey. Mike had confided in her that in a way, it made him feel safe about Zoey; not that he doubted her ability to protect herself, but still, it was nice to know that Zoey was protected from break-ins by a very clingy animal that could breathe fire. But on the other hand, it would have been nice to be able to hug his girlfriend without getting headbutted in the backs of his knees. Physical affection was still possible when Toast wasn't in the room, a task that was accomplished pretty easily with the help of closed doors, but sometimes Mike couldn't resist the urge for a kiss from Zoey, even with Toast watching, and he'd get headbutted for his trouble.

Zoey tried her best to train Toast to not attack anyone who touched her, she truly did. But while Toast would be good for a few days, it wouldn't be long before she'd be back to bleating angrily at Mike and hogging Zoey's lap once more.

She'd train her fully someday. She promised.

But today was not that day, for Toast currently had Mike trapped up in that tree. An odd situation, to be sure; Toast didn't normally harass Mike when he was alone with her, since it's not like he was committing the crime of touching her mother. Zoey approached the scene in order to figure out what was going on.

"Stay down! Do not come any closer!" Mike shouted in a high-pitched, heavily accented voice; Svetlana was caught in the tree, not Mike. Zoey reevaluated the situation with that in mind. A chewed up fedora sat on the ground by the tree, indicating that Manitoba was involved in this somehow. A rope in the same style that Manny typically used bound her wings to her back, explaining why she didn't fly up to catch Svetlana.

"Svetlana?" Zoey calmed down. "What's going on?"

"I do not know!" Svetlana said. "I woke up halfway up the tree, and with the goat's shouting, I finished the climbing! I do not want the goat attacking my knees! I need them for the gymnastics!"

"Toast! Down!" Zoey shouted. At the sound of her command, Toast turned her heard toward her, and with an excited bleat, bounded up to her mother and affectionately rubbed against her legs. Zoey refused to reward her with pets.

"Does this mean she won't do the butting?" Svetlana asked.

"Yeah, you can come down. I've got her distracted."

At Zoey's assurance, Svetlana jumped down from the tree and landed on her feet with ease. "Perfect landing, as usual!"

"What happened here?" Zoey asked. "Why was Toast chasing you? And why's she tied up like this?"

"Like I said, I do not know! I woke up on the tree!" Svetlana repeated. "But judging by the hat and the rope, I believe I know exactly who you would like to be talking to."

"Yeah, I know who, too..." Zoey walked over to retrieve the fedora, Toast following at her feet even for the few steps it took. "Do you mind if I talk to him, Svetlana?"

"Please do!" Svetlana said. "And once you have, you tell _me_ exactly what mess he got me into!"

"Okay." She held the hat over Svetlana's head, but didn't place it yet. "I'm going to put the hat on now." Even given permission, it seemed like the polite thing to do to warn any of them the instant before she purposely triggered someone else.

"Go ahead."

Zoey lowered the hat and let go as the body gasped. The face abruptly shifted from Svetlana's irritation to Manitoba's cocky smirk.

"G'day, sheila! You brought me out on purpose, eh? To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"What happened with you and Toast?" Zoey asked. "I came home and she had Svetlana trapped in the tree, but Svet had no idea what was going on."

"What do you think happened? The little beast hates us," Manitoba answered, glaring down at Toast as he spoke.

"You know she doesn't attack you guys without you provoking her."

"You call Mike hugging you provocation?"

"You know what I meant. Even if she overreacts, she always has _some _reason."

Manitoba groaned. "Well, if you've gotta know. Mike was just sitting around the apartment, not doing anything very interesting, so I figured I may as well get out, get the body some exercise, you know? So I went to get my hat, and the thing was all chewed up! And I think we all know who did _that._"

"There's hooks on the wall," Zoey said. "You should have put your hat up out of her reach."

"The goat flies, sheila."

"...oh, right."

"Sick of her flying up and taking what's not hers, honestly. So I figured, what use are those wings when she's a house pet? I mean, you clip a bird's wings when you bring it into a house, right? But you can't clip hers, they don't have feathers. So I tied 'em down."

Zoey lowered her face into her hands. "You tied her wings down and expected her not to chase you?"

"I wrestled crocs for fun in middle school! I thought I could handle a goat, even if it's a goat with bat wings!" Manitoba said, clearly offended. "Didn't expect the girl to get that ticked off at me! She chased me right out the door! I figured the tree would be safe, since I had her wings tied, but while I was scrambling up, my hat fell off. The combo of that and the climbing must have sent Svet's signal. Send my apologies to her. I didn't mean to get her mixed up in this."

"I don't know how Mike's body handles everything you guys put it through," Zoey said. "You know I love you guys dearly... but maybe next time, don't harass an animal that you know fights back? If not for your sake, then for Mike's? He's the one who's gonna be sore after all this."

"Hey, before you blame me, who brought that goat in the house in the first place?" Manitoba asked.

"It's my apartment! If I want to have a pet, I'll have a pet. And Mike seemed okay with it from the start."

"At the start she was a tiny little thing that couldn't take down the stuffed animals you gave her," Manitoba said. "She's gotten a lot bigger. Look, I know you're a caretaker, being a woman and all-"

"Manny."

"Oh, yeah, stereotypes, not always true, bla bla bla, right." Manitoba rolled his eyes and waved his hand dismissively. "But you, specifically, _are _a caretaker. You want a critter. I get that. You've gotta raise 'em the same way I've gotta hunt 'em. But Toast ain't the only one looking for your attention, remember? I seem to remember you cuddling up to a certain someone as often as you cuddle that goat. And he didn't used to get his socks chewed off for his trouble during it, either."

Zoey's face softened as her defense lowered, and a frown slowly crept onto her mouth. "Does Mike really feel like I'm neglecting him?"

"Not neglect, no. And he hasn't said anything. But I don't know if I'm happy about you keeping that thing in the house when it keeps trying to hurt him." Manitoba shifted his eyes away and fiddled with the brim of his hat. "Look, it's nothing personal, sheila. I know you love Mike. It's not that I think you're bad for him. I've never seen him happier with a lady than he is with you. He's a grown man now and he's still giddier than a cuckoo when he thinks about you. It's almost embarrassing." Manitoba smirked as he spoke of Mike's affections. "It's just... we've been with Mike since he was tiny, ya know? We've been through a lot with him. It's why we're here to begin with. So if something's happening to make him unhappy, it's up to us to stop it. Yeah, we make life hard for him, but we're teaching him to compromise, toughening him up. That's our job." Manitoba looked back down at Toast. "It's not a goat's job. So maybe rein the critter in, all right?"

"I'm not trying to hurt him!" Zoey argued. "I swear, I still love Mike, I'm not replacing him or trying to hurt him-"

"I know you're not doing it on purpose. I know you wouldn't even want to hurt him on accident. Just pay him a little more mind without the critter around. And no more excuses for her, no more 'she just needs to get used to you'. A critter needs discipline, or it'll never be tamed."

"All right. I'm sorry she went after you and your hat, but you also need to say sorry for tying her wings down."

Manitoba scoffed and shook his head. "I accept the apology, but I don't apologize to critters. I'll get her trained up someday, you watch."

"Can I talk to Mike now?" Zoey asked.

"Sure, I've got no better business. Getting chased by a goat is probably as much exercise as I was looking for." Manitoba removed his hat, and with another gasp, Mike had control of his body once more.

"Zoey!" he said. "When did you get home? Why am I out here?"

"Not that long ago," Zoey said. "Apparently Manitoba ticked Toast off, and she chased him down here."

"I'm guessing the rope has something to do with that."

"Everything, really."

Mike smiled and shook his head. "Manitoba needs to stop going near animals." He reached out his hand and stepped forward. "I'm happy you're home-"

Toast started her growling before Mike could touch Zoey.

"...oh. Yeah."

"Mike, do you mind going up to the apartment ahead of me?" Zoey asked. "I want a minute alone with Toast."

"All right. Can I have a minute with you after that? Not because I have anything important to tell you. I just want that minute with you."

"We can have as many minutes as you want," Zoey assured him with a smile. "I'm sure anything you tell me during it is important."

"All I want is to tell you I love you a few times," Mike said, smiling back at her..

"And that's the most important thing you could say." She leaned in to kiss him on the cheek; Toast growled again, but since it was Zoey initiating this one, she did nothing physical to indicate her displeasure. "Now go upstairs. I'll be right there." Mike turned to go inside, and Zoey crouched down to talk to Toast.

"Toast, you know mommy loves you very much..." Zoey said. "But I love daddy, too. And daddy loves me. And sometimes, daddy wants to cuddle with me without you stepping on his face."

Toast rubbed against Zoey's knees, but Zoey pushed her away.

"No, Toast. No cuddles now."

Toast bleated sadly.

"Whenever you hurt daddy, or you interrupt daddy when he's with me, you don't get pet, all right? Daddy needs a lot of love, and we need to take care of him. So please, please be nice to him."

In hindsight, Zoey wasn't sure what she was trying to accomplish. How much English did a goat understand, anyway?

Still, Manitoba was right; she had to toughen up a little. If ignoring that warm ball of fur whenever she misbehaved was what it took to protect Mike, then of course she'd do it.

No matter how hard it was for her to stay mad at that face.

"Now come on. Let's cut that rope off."

* * *

><p>"Zoey, I promise, I'm fine."<p>

Mike sat in the corner of Zoey's apartment, pulling his knees up to make himself as small as possible. The only light in the room was the sun filtering through the closed curtains, making the room visible, but not by much; none of the room's lamps were powered on, by Mike's choice. He held his cell phone up to his ear to talk to Zoey, though his hands shook and made her harder to hear than necessary.

Mike was not fine.

Manitoba's incident with Toast had happened several days ago, but Mike had still yet to leave Zoey's house and go to his own home. He'd go out to go to work or therapy, but then he'd come back here. What reason did he have to leave this apartment? Zoey loved having him here, and spending so much time with her made him feel safer than anything could.

At least, usually, it did. Normally, he could handle being alone for a few hours with no ill consequences, just as he wanted. But this time, a nasty memory of the past had chosen to surface at the worst time, right when Mike had no one to turn to about it.

He blacked out, then woke up in this corner, and what little physical strength remained inside him had no desire of helping him leave it.

"Your voice is shaking," Zoey said. "Do you need me to come home?"

"No, I know you're busy-"

"I'm not too busy to come take care of you. I never am. I can take half a day off, it's no problem..."

"I can do this by myself." Mike laughed nervously and hugged his knees tighter. "Man, I'm no fun, am I? You call me to talk on your break and you get me having a panic attack."

"Mike, if you are seriously having a panic attack, I'm driving home this instant," Zoey said in her best teacher voice.

"It's not _that_ bad, honest! Sorry for saying that!" Mike said. "I'm not up for talking much, no... but I'll be fine. I just need some time to myself..."

"Are you absolutely, positively, one hundred percent sure that you're okay by yourself?" Zoey asked.

"Absolutely, positively, one hundred percent," Mike repeated, although his voice still shook and his breaths were still audible. "Just gotta do my coping stuff, you know? Breathe deep, think happy thoughts. I had a bad memory, but I'll get over it, I swear. I always do."

"Did you at least take your pills?"

"Not yet, but I will as soon as I hang up," Mike promised.

Zoey could be such a parent sometimes, even to her own boyfriend... but Mike would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy having her look out for him that way.

"Okay. My break's over soon, so I'm going to let you go. Call me if you need me, and I'll come home."

"I won't need it, but thanks for offering," Mike said. "I'll be fine. Like I said, I just need time..."

"I love you, sweetie. Stay safe?"

"I promise. I love you too."

Mike hung up the phone and let it drop to the floor, then wrapped both of his arms around his knees and shivered uncontrollably.

Pills... right. Pills. Time to take his pills. Get up, go to the bathroom, take his pills.

Just get up. Stand up. Stop sitting, stand up.

He couldn't stand up. No matter how much his mind willed it, his body wouldn't listen to him. It was quite content to sit here and shake in fear over something that happened long ago, in a place far away from here.

What bad could happen if he stood up? Turned the lights on? Went to another room?

Something horrible, maybe. He couldn't risk it.

Coping method first? Would that help? He took a deep breath in, counting to four as he did so. He next step would be to exhale for eight counts, and then that should make it better-

He made it to two before his supposed relaxed breath turned into a loud cry. He'd done so well hiding his urge to do that from Zoey, too...

Mike gave up and buried his face in his knees, resigned to his body's quaking. These things always passed. They sucked, but they passed. All he had to do was wait it out.

But man, wouldn't it have been nice to have Zoey holding him until it passed...

It wouldn't be fair of him to ask her to skip work for something that wasn't urgent, so of course he couldn't request she rush home for something he'd easily survive. But it'd be so nice... just to have another living being with him so he wasn't alone with his thoughts in this dark apartment...

Mike heard a bleating sound as something soft and warm nudged against his head. He looked up and found himself face-to-face with Toast.

"Not today, Toast," Mike said. "I'm really not in the mood to be chased right now."

Toast nudged Mike's face again, but Mike weakly raised his hand and pushed her away.

"I said no. Go on, shoo."

Toast bleated again, then slowly walked away to leave Mike to himself. Mike returned his face to his knees and sighed. He wanted attention, but Toast's harassment wasn't what he had in mind...

Mike groaned at the sound of crashing from the bathroom. Was she making a mess in there?

Dumb goat, there was no reason for that... Mike understood why Zoey loved her so much, but he didn't understand half of her behavior.

Too bad he didn't have the leg strength to clean that up. Zoey would _not_ be happy to come home from a long day of work to a mess like whatever Toast was causing in there.

The crashing soon stopped, but Mike didn't acknowledge it much; he merely assumed she ran out of things to knock off the sink. Soon after, he felt that same warm nudging against his head, but this time, he ignored it. But no matter how hard he ignored it, he kept on nudging.

"Toast, I said no. You can chase me later."

Toast nudged harder, but still got no response. She finally resorted to bleating for attention, and with the sound of that first bleat came the sound of a light object hitting the floor.

"What did you take out of the bathroom?" Mike asked as he looked up. "Go put it back-"

His eyes finally caught sight of the circular green object Toast had retrieved from the bathroom. She picked it back up off the floor and nudged his face again.

She'd brought him his pill keeper.

"...thank you," Mike said as he took the case from her. "But I need water to take these..." A case of water bottles sat next to the refrigerator, right in Mike's line of sight. "Water?" he repeated as if speaking to a child, pointing to the case as he talked. "Water?"

Toast hovered over to the case and picked up a water bottle from the box, holding it gently enough to not puncture it with her teeth. She landed at Mike's feet and dropped the bottle, then bleated again.

"Yeah, that's right." He reached out to pet her in gratitude; amazingly, she didn't try to bite his finger off. "Very good girl, Toast!"

Mike opened the slot on his pill keeper for that day's afternoon to retrieve his pills, then opened the water bottle and downed the pills in one swig. By the time he closed both objects and set them down next to him, Toast had lain down on his other side and currently watched him expectantly.

He recognized that position; Zoey would often use Toast as a pillow when she lay like that on the couch.

"Is that an invitation, or are you going to chew my ear off if I try?" Mike asked. Toast didn't respond; what did he expect, really; but he decided to take a chance. He rested his head against Toast, who miracle upon miracles, remained still rather than lashing out at him.

"Wow, you're really warm," Mike said. "Must be part of being a fire breather, huh...?" He yawned as his eyes drifted shut. "No wonder Zoey likes doing this... it's like having a personal heater... really cozy... kind of... making me tired..."

The last of Mike's energy drained as he rested against his animal caretaker.

* * *

><p>"Mike?" Zoey called into the apartment as she walked in. "Why is it so dark in here? Are you all right?" Sbe flicked the light switch on, unsure of what to expect.<p>

Mike and Toast sleeping against each other in the corner was the bottom rung of her expectation ladder.

"Toast?" she whispered as she walked over to the pair. Toast blinked her eyes blearily and squinted up at Zoey. Zoey crouched down next to her, taking note of the pill keeper and water bottle as she did so.

"Did you get those for Mike?" Zoey asked.

Toast bleated quietly in what Zoey could only assume meant affirmation. Zoey smiled as two small tears welled in her eyes.

"Just like I showed you... if daddy's upset, bring him those... you're a very, very good girl," Zoey said as she pet her. "Thanks so much for taking care of him... when you both wake up, we're all going to eat lots of popcorn, okay?"

Toast bleated again, then closed her eyes and lowered her head again.

"Mind if I join you two?" Zoey asked. Neither one complained, so Zoey grabbed the blanket off the couch, then lay down behind Mike. She draped the blanket over the two of them, then cuddled against Mike's back.

"I love you," she whispered. "I'm so happy she took care of you..."

Of course, it didn't mean Mike was completely off the hook from Toast's taunting. She'd never stop loving him as someone to chase up trees and steal food from, and she'd always become bitter when she wanted Zoey's lap but Mike already had it.

But Toast was smarter than she looked; she could tell that whenever Mike was upset, Zoey was upset. And when Zoey was upset, Toast would do anything to stop Zoey from being upset, even if she didn't care much for the scrawny man who apparently wanted to usurp her position.

But it was all right. Zoey and Mike couldn't read the intent of the strange creature that had invited herself into their lives, so they were happily free to appreciate her care for what it appeared to be.


End file.
